Sometimes the things you witness in airport bars are better than television.
1. It started when she overheard something spicy in an airport bar.
https://twitter.com/bjcolangelo/status/925443262491578368
2. The women made a pact.
The women have never met until this moment. “Hopefully I’ll gain a sister in you if I lose my husband.”
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
3. BJ is learning some life lessons along the way.
One of the women has an extreme couponer’s amount of gum in her purse. “You can’t yell at someone with bad breath. My dad taught me that.”
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
4. She knows she’s on to something delicious here.
I am going to live-tweet the fuck out of my eavesdropping.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
5. The women are on an emotional journey.
“Why can’t they be honest? There’s no need for cockamamie stories and secrets. I don’t care if there gay. I care they lie.” 😢
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
6. Things are about to get even more interesting.
They’ve ordered shots. Based on their faces, one woman is a seasoned pro. The other has never had a shot in her entire life.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
7. BJ cannot believe her luck.
Oh my god this is my new favorite sitcom pilot.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
8. There were signs.
I’ve never seen a 50+ year old white lady snap gum with this much vigor. Shot lady: “My daughter’s boyfriend thought my husband was gay.”
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
9. Her son in law is not the first guy she was wrong about.
“I thought he was an asshole. I guess he’s just clairvoyant.”
She ordered another round.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
10. At least they can joke about it.
One of the women has a grandson. They’re sharing pics of their kids’ Halloween costumes. Shot lady: “Our husbands should be Bert and Ernie.”
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
11. BJ is impressed.
Gum lady is laughing but also crying. Shot lady is my fucking hero. She’s patting her on the back and humming to the Sammy Hagar playing.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
12. The ladies are finally realizing they’re living the plot of the Netflix show Grace & Frankie.
Shot Lady: “There’s a Netflix show about this.” SHE SAID IT! SHE FUCKING SAID IT. GUM LADY HAS NEVER SEEN IT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
13. … but no need to linger on that.
“Jane Fonda is on it.” “Oh, I don’t like her.” … “Have you seen this video of a baby hippo?”
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
14. They managed to get even more adorable.
They’re currently laughing at cute animal videos. This is so pure except I know gum lady is gonna cry at any moment.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
15. BJ is really bonding with these ladies – without them noticing.
Shot Lady: “Why are they playing soccer on TV? Did they forget we only care about racist baseball & bad football?” OFFICIAL. SPIRIT. ANIMAL.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
16. Turns out it’s not as easy for them as they make it seem.
Gum lady is breathing really heavy. “I’m so glad you still have a sense of humor. I’m struggling to hang on to mine.”
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
17. At least Shot Lady is keeping her head up.
Shot Lady: “Our husbands are fucking, or we’re both insane. Either way, were going to be okay. I promise.” ADOPT ME SHOT LADY.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
18. Life imitates art in this case.
Gum Lady: “At least my husband’s boyfriend has good taste in women.” Shot Lady: “Yea. You’re pretty okay too.” THIS IS 100% GRACE & FRANKIE.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
19. With some extra liquid courage, they’re on their way.
Shot Lady: “We can do this.” Gum Lady: “You’re right. We can.” Shot lady pounded something dark. They have left me.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
20. Jeffrey and Richard: be warned.
If your names are Jeffrey and and Richard and you’re on a “business trip” in Chicago…your wives are coming for you. And they’ve bonded.
— BJack-O-Langelo (@bjcolangelo) October 31, 2017
Don’t mess with Shot Lady and Gum Lady, guys.
