Why do you need to read this blog? First of all…
1. But she caught me on the counter.
“saw me banging on the sofa”
first of all, wasn’t me
— vibethriller (@vibethriller) October 17, 2017
2. I still gotta catch ’em all, okay?
"You still play Pokémon Go? No life"
First of all, I didn't have a life to begin with
— MYSTIC7 (@MYSTIC7) October 16, 2017
3. Back off.
“what percent you on?”
first of all this is my charger
— jay 🅥 (@stickojay) October 17, 2017
4. Pay some attention, please.
“you look good today.”
first of all, bitch i look good everyday.
— First of all (@ayfirstofall) October 17, 2017
5. Easier said than done.
“just be yourself”
First of all I don’t even know who I am
— the walking zed (@NathanZed) October 16, 2017
6. Who’s really to blame here, mom and dad?
My parents: I don’t like your attitude
first of all, I got it from you
— J o e y (@Jdxthompson) October 16, 2017
7. Thank you for stating the obvious.
"you look tired"
first of all, I AM
— Tana Mongeau (@tanamongeau) October 17, 2017
8. Pay attention, Netflix.
"Previously on-"
First of all, I've been watching for ten straight hours
— jess 🎃 (@unapologetiicb) October 16, 2017
9. They’re catching on.
“Are you still watching"
First of all, I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough
— Netflix US (@netflix) October 15, 2017
10. I’ll decide that for myself, thank you very much.
"Please Turn off all cell phones"
first of all….you paying this bill?
— First of all…. (@__FirstOfAll) October 17, 2017
11. This one is burning hot.
*at my funeral*
"I know he's looking down at us from heaven"First of all, im in hell
— Satan (@s8n) October 16, 2017
12. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
“Screenshots don’t lie”
first of all I lied in the screenshots— Breezy 🏳️🌈 (@Twatch_Me_) October 16, 2017
13. This is still a good business idea.
"I guess I just thought it would be on-brand for you to have halloween candy here"
First of all, this is the morgue
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) October 16, 2017
14. Sam probably won’t be employee of the month anytime soon.
Coworker: “Do you wanna cover my shift today?”
First of all, I don’t even want to cover my own shift.
— Sam 🌸 (@sammanthaaa__) October 16, 2017
15. This one has to hurt.
“you look better when you dont have your glasses on”
first of all, you look better when i dont have my glasses on too
— sky (@skylurpaige) October 16, 2017
16. Solid comeback.
"how dare you"
first of all, how dare you
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) October 16, 2017
17. April has a good excuse.
“I thought you were done with him”
First of all, I’m stupid
— april🥀 (@rosapeligr0sa) October 16, 2017
18. Peer pressure isn’t always effective.
“if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too?”
first of all, i’d jump off a cliff without my friends
— Pastel Pain☽ (@ldgadamn) October 16, 2017
19. It’s not even Halloween yet.
“hey boo”
first of all, you didnt scare me
— Father Jason 🦇 (@gonzjas13) October 16, 2017
20. We all have our personal demons.
“I love it when I make your eyes roll back”
First of all babe, I’m possessed
— s boogie🍯 (@saikwonboogie) October 15, 2017
21. Even Westeros chimed in.
“You’re like a brother to me”
First of all, I’m a Lannister
— Alagb€ 👓 (@t0m_t0m) October 14, 2017
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