Twitter is loaded with funny people. One of its funniest and freshest voices is comedian Jaboukie Young-White (and yes, we know it says “black” in his Twitter name, but trust us). Here’s a few samples that show just why he’s a must-follow…
1. He has exquisite taste.
lacroix is like drinking sprite with a condom
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) February 13, 2018
2. Just like that.
i just saw a video on here of a lesbian couple proposing to each at the same time, unplanned. the gays have now won marriage. heterosexuality is illegal in all 50 states
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) February 14, 2018
3. Jaboukie is truly an inspiration.
i just read a book i already have instead of buying a new one pic.twitter.com/s2V9X9k2jr
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) February 12, 2018
4. R.I.P.
today we mourn a legend pic.twitter.com/lRQ8EuXWHQ
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) February 9, 2018
5. If you need a pick me up, just picture him singing this.
obama said broken clocks was one of his fav songs of 2017 and i can't stop picturing him singing "running back to the strip club"
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) December 31, 2017
6. Please.
net neutrality has gotta stay i cannot go back to books i forgot how to read
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) December 14, 2017
7. He knows how to make deals. The best deals.
me: is extra cheese free
chipotle employee: yes
me: can i get extra cheese
chipotle employee: yes
me, turning to camera: https://t.co/dQTV9xw6kg— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) March 24, 2017
Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully or write poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. That's how I get my kicks.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 29, 2014
8. This actually works.
if you wrap your vibrator's batteries in gold ferrero rocher paper and say self care three times it becomes a real person
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) February 6, 2018
9. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
me tweeting when there's texts i still haven't replied to pic.twitter.com/4AoupG9eQS
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) March 5, 2017
10. Accurate.
me pretending to have 5 years experience at an entry level interview pic.twitter.com/4hdnvQuNx9
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) August 8, 2017
11. Oops.
us: better gun control
gov: this is a mental health issue
us: better mental health care
gov:
us: ???
*two mass shootings later*
gov: hey sorry i was in the shower— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) November 6, 2017
12. He knows his biology.
humans act like we're at the top of the animal kingdom when most of us only have two tiddies. cows?? 4 tiddies. dogs? 10 tiddies. yet we're the superior species??? idk something don't add up
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) January 25, 2018
13. Same.
me after eating a well rounded breakfast pic.twitter.com/rmwHVqrZR8
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) January 23, 2018
14. Same, but with Scarface.
i've never actually seen pulp fiction but i've pieced it together from college dorm room posters
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) January 22, 2018
15. It’s funny, but also painfully true.
white man: i'm gunna kill ppl & cause terror
media: local artisanal gunslinger provides a wild bout of nondelight— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) October 2, 2017
16. How dare we.
"millennials killed department stores" baby boomers killed the polar bears but right right right my deepest apologies to jc penny
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) June 4, 2017
17. Nice.
millennial dating
u: hey wyd wednesday
them: working to survive. wyd saturday
u: being tired from working to survive then laundry
them: nice— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) October 1, 2017
18. This is a 100% accurate historical fact.
learn when it's time 2 move on. look at the dinosaurs. they were popping so hard like 1,000 years ago but then they said aight… we had our moment… now it's time to be birds
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) January 8, 2018
19. Yeah, let’s not do this, please.
me: i want to die
tr*mp: we will win the war. our nukes are girthy. north korea doesn't even have a penis shaped territory. look at our florida. our land penis is huge
me: not like that— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) January 3, 2018
20. Welp.
republican: *hears dying screams of the poor* pic.twitter.com/5xTDVethT5
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) May 4, 2017
21. But in the end, he’s a considerate guy.
*turns macbook toward tv screen so jeff at the fbi headquarters can watch black mirror with me*
— jaboukie young-black (@jaboukie) December 30, 2017
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