Las Vegas is natuurlijk de plek voor feesten, gokken en de meest fantastische shows. Maar deze vader wil daarnaast ook advies over hoe hij z’n zoon kan steunen, omdat hij denkt dat de zoon homo is. Als conservatieve Amerikaan uit de staat Arkansas denkt hij dit advies te vinden bij de Mariah Carey gokmachine en daar heeft hij helemaal gelijk in. Wat volgt is een ontzettend lief gesprek over opvoeden en homoseksualiteit waar iedere ouder wat van kan leren.
1. Jack denkt dat het waardevol is om dit gesprek te delen.
2. In eerste instantie dacht hij dat het een vervelende vraag zou zijn.
I was sitting with @marcoalessifilm, both wearing pink (naturally) and after chatting a little to the guy about Vegas, he nervously asked if he could ask us a question. I knew where this was gonna go as it always does so did a bit of an inner eye roll but indulged him anyway
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
3. Maar dan bekent de vader dat hij eigenlijk advies nodig heeft over z’n zoon die wellicht homo is.
He then asked if we were together so we said no (we’re best friends and he has a fab bf) and he asked if we were gay, so we said yes. He then said he thinks his 13 year old son might be gay and wondered if he could ask us how best for him to navigate that
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
4. De vader wil weten hoe hij z’n zoon kan steunen zonder een geforceerd gesprek over homoseksualiteit te voeren.
He lit up when talking about his son, and I nearly started crying at how much he clearly loved him. The guy wanted to know how to make his son feel most comfortable about himself whilst not being too overt and glaringly obvious in forcing a conversation about his sexuality
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
5. Wonend in een conservatieve staat hoopt hij dat z’n zoon altijd gelijk behandeld zal worden.
This man is SO sweet. From rural Arkansas and said whilst things are so much better now, he still just wants the world to be totally equal for his son. Marco and I said he sounds like he’s doing all the right things and that making his son know he’s loved is the best he can do
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
6. Jack deelt het advies om normaal te doen als er bijvoorbeeld twee mannen op tv zoenen en om er iets van te zeggen als anderen vervelende opmerkingen maken over homo’s.
We both gave a couple of anecdotes from personal experience, largely relating to condoning abstract things when you see them like normalising conversations around gay kisses on TV or calling our family conversations that might shame potential queerness
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
7. Ook dit advies is erg waardevol.
We also mentioned not accidentally policing things so as to shame him – for instance, often out of a sense of protection and love parents can frown on a child’s behaviour or outfit because they’re worried for their safety when on a night out etc.
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
8. Communicatie is dus het allerbelangrijkst.
But we stressed that if this was their feeling it’s important to vocalise this exactly, rather than leaving the child ruminating over the parent’s intentions and second guessing why they said what they said
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
9. Jack is ook benieuwd naar het advies van anderen.
So in terms of advice to friends or relatives of a potentially queer person, what would fellow queers advise is the best way to make it known they have their love and support without causing an uncomfortable conversation that might force someone to come out before they’re ready?
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
10. Hij deelt zijn eigen ervaring.
For instance – when I was about 12, my v obviously straight brother and I were watching a soap with my dad and there was a gay kiss on screen. I vividly remember my dad saying if either of us ever thought we were gay that we would still be just as loved by our mum and dad
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
11. En hoe dankbaar hij daarvoor is.
Knowing that nothing would change stuck with me hugely and I remember that convo as if it was yesterday – it was *clearly* said for my benefit but was comfortable enough that it wasn’t a direct exchange and I appreciate my dad so much for this
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
12. Jack is diep ontroerd door de vader die er alles aan doet om z’n zoon te steunen.
I literally still have shivers thinking about that wonderful man. The difference he’ll make to not just his son’s life but to so many others by having and open mind and a loving heart is unbelievable. There’s hope!! ❤️
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
13. En hij probeert zijn jongste zoon al te corrigeren.
He also said that the younger brother (10 y/o) had expressed his disapproval of drag queens he’d seen on TV because it was ‘weird’, so the dad explained in earshot of the elder son that if that’s how they want to dress and they feel comfortable then that’s great
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
14.Volgens Jack is hij dus al op de goede weg.
He’s clearly doing all the right things and is making his son feel as comfortable as he can. Take notes people this is how it’s done!! Particularly given that the boy is growing up far out of a metropolitan city this kind of unconditional love and support is invaluable
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
15. De vader kent geen andere homosexuele mensen, maar gaat toch op zoek naar advies.
Still just mulling over this – the dad clearly has no gay people in his life to ask so did his best to ask people with that experience to help make his son’s life and journey though potential queerness as seamless as possible. What a wonderful wonderful man
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
16. Jack biedt zelf ook hulp aan voor mensen die vragen hebben.
DMs always v open for anyone with any questions about how best to handle a situation like this! Or for any queers struggling and wanting to talk ❤️
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 2, 2019
17. Hij krijgt veel steun vanuit ouders en familieleden van queer kinderen.
To warm your hearts even further I just have to say I’ve had over 50 parents / relatives of queer kids reaching out in my DMs to express their support/appreciation for this thread and it is GORGEOUS to know there is so much love for LGBTQ youth in the world today
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 3, 2019
18. De berichten die hij krijgt zijn overweldigend.
Also on a purely selfish level the joy I’m getting reading all these messages is overwhelming. Obviously can’t share them but just know that there are so many happy queer kids telling me beautiful stories in my DMs all because of this wonderful dad and the conversation he started
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 3, 2019
19. Zijn favoriete advies is: ‘laat merken dat je iemand steunt op het moment dat er niet direct een discussie gaande is’.
Also one of my favourite responses to the thread is:
‘Express support at times when it’s not a discussion’
This is exactly what my dad did for me and it so perfectly made me feel loved without placing me in an uncomfortable position to have a conversation I wasn’t ready for
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 3, 2019
20. Jack deelt nog even dat het belangrijk is om de adviezen ook met je heteroseksuele kinderen te delen.
Seeing a lot of people share this re ‘how to make LGBTQ kids feel comfortable at home’ / coming to terms with themselves etc. which is 100% important and the biggest point here but also normalise the conversations around straight kids too so they grow up to be just as tolerant!
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 3, 2019
21. Veel vaders nemen de moeite om Jack te bedanken voor de tips.
The number of parents (particularly dads) reaching out in my DMs is the most beautiful thing to see. Dads into rugby, boxing, wrestling, all asking questions about how they can help make the world a little better for their LGBTQ kids is incredible. I’m so so happy
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 4, 2019
22. Zelfs James Corden deelt het verhaal.
EXCUSE ME WE HAVE A MARIAH MOMENT skasgsdksjk ?!???! pic.twitter.com/dMIsLSqMvd
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 4, 2019
23. Tot slot: een verhaal dat begon bij een Mariah Carey gokmachine, dat uiteindelijk gedeeld wordt door Mariah herself, de cirkel is rond.
Sksjsksksksh https://t.co/8UPWBshHWI
— jack remmington (@jackremmington) January 4, 2019
Trouwens, volg je ons al op Instagram?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BscqE4HAZLg/
